Until five minutes ago I never considered why accomplished scientific writers tend to be at least in their forties and more often in their fifties or sixties. At first thought one would assume the reason is it has taken them years to study, conduct research and acquire adequate knowledge in their respective field. I would like to propose an alternative theory: Scientific writers do not become authorities in their field until their kids (if any) grow up and move out of the house.
I am attempting to write an essay that discusses such lofty topics as: social perception, the attribution theory, fundamental attribution error, self-fulfilling prophecy, and the physiology of perception that translates into prejudice, stereotypes and discrimination. My attempts to add content to this essay have been unsuccessful this morning because of the following interruptions:
1.) Ava: “Daddy, will you turn on Scooby-Doo?”
2.) Ava (30 seconds later): “Daddy, I am ready for breakfast. I want tiger cereal (frosted flakes).”
3.) Ava (1 minute and 37 seconds after I begin searching for tiger cereal): “Daddy, I guess I will just have Lucky Charms.”
4.) Ava (after two bites of cereal): “I am going downstairs to find my pink phone with a butterfly on it.”
5.) Ava (43 seconds later after an imaginary conversation on her pink phone): “Daddy, today Cadence is coming to my house tomorrow.”
6.) Tenley: ” whaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!”
7.) Ava: “Daddy! Tenley is trying to get my phone.”
8.) Ava (after 11 minutes): “Tenley pooped her pants.” (I confirmed this with a sniff test)
9.) Ava: “I can put my hand on this cheek and walk. I just want to finish my cereal. But Dad, how old is this?”
10.) 4 minutes later… Ava enters carrying a 3 foot long pink horse that plays music and precedes to make no less than seven laps around the room that I am using to write my essay.
11.) Tenley: “yeee yuuhhh, ha, uuuhhhhh yeeeeeeeeee, aya, I.” (in the background a pink horse plays music.)
12.) Sadie (my cocker spaniel): “bark, bark, ruff, bark, growl, ruff, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, woof, bark, woof, woof, growl.” (I did not capitalize the first letter of Sadie’s quote because she has poor grammar skills and thus does not capitalize her sentences. I am also sure that her sentence was merely a fragment anyway.)
13.) Me: “Sadie, shut up!”
14.) Sadie: “woof, bark, growl, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, bark, growl.” (again with the incomplete sentences.)
15.) Ava: “Daddy, can I read your yellow book?” (Why she is so interested in a book titled The APA style of Documentation: A Pocket Guide, I am not sure.)
16.) Tenley: “Aha, aaaaaaaaawww, goo.”
17.) Ava: “Daddy, are these wipes dirty?”
18.) Ava: “I am going to clean your yellow book with these wipes.”
19.) Me: (sigh…) (I now make the decision to stop my research on the attribution theory, and instead write a blog about this mornings experience.)
20.) Ava: “Daddy, my Scooby-Doo is paused.”
21.) Ava: “Daddy, what are you doing?” Me: “I am writing a blog.” Ava: “Blog, bloggy, bloggy, blog.”
22.) Ava (singing): “I can dooooo, I, I, can dooo00. I can doooooo, can dooo-oooo-oooo. You can dooo. You can dooo-ooo.”
23.) The DVR turns off and the TV turns to morning news where Obama’s voice booms through my surround sound.
24.) Tenely: “As a scientific enterprise, the investigation of perception has especially developed as part of the larger discipline of psychology.” (Okay, I made that up.)
For those of you interested in social perception, the attribution theory, etc., once I finish my essay I will make sure to publish it on my blog, because if my theory is correct it will not be publsihed in any scientific journals.
Rammin' the Clam... 