Inspirational Quotes in a World of Cynicism….

Alright, first things first.  If you read the title and are hoping to be inspired,  just stop reading now.  I am cynical, sarcastic,  and a smartass.  That’s not to say I  am uninspired; I have just come to the conclusion that I have fell victim to the multi-billion dollar industry that I call “inspirational home decor.”

You know what I am talking about.  It doesn’t matter what store you go to to buy things to hang on the wall.  Everywhere you go you see signs of wood, metal, canvas, and the like, that instruct you to “Sieze the day,” and “Color outside the lines,” and “Live. Laugh. Love.” 

That’s great and all.  My walls, shelves, and mantle are covered with this stuff.  It’s just that for me, this isn’t “inspiration,” it’s “decoration.”  Don’t get me wrong.  I mean “How great would life be, if we lived a little of it everyday?” And what a great idea to “Think outside the box.”

For me though, most days these decorations go unnoticed.   They are lost in the real life clutter of kid’s toys, dirty laundry, dog bowls, and throw pillows.  When I do notice the signs on the wall, at best they are a reminder that I failed to “Cherish every moment.” and “Embrace every possibility.”

I am NOT saying to NOT seek out inspiration (double negative).  Just maybe consider looking somewhere other than the wall art.  I mean let’s face it, if you are staring at the wall all day, you aren’t gonna get sh*t done anyway, and I am going to make fun of you.  If you are going to stare at the wall all day, why not take it one step further and lick the window all day instead.

So here’s my idea.  If you are like me and have spent hundreds of dollars on “inspirational” phrases and quotes to hang all over your walls, take them down. Replace them with one of my designs.  Yep that’s right.  I am going to start making more practical signs.  Signs that you can look at and say “Hey, I did that today. I’m not a failure, because I did what that wall art said I should.”  Oh you want some examples?  Try these on for size:

(Yes, these are my own creations)

Just because they legalized it, doesn’t mean you get to be a d-bag.

So Colorado has passed legislation that decriminalizes the possession, use, and exchange of marijuana in small amounts.  First, let me say this. I am not necessarily opposed to legalization and regulation of pot.  On the surface it doesn’t really effect me, personally, right?  I mean, I don’t smoke it.  Not necessarily opposed, just not all that interested, I guess. I know a few people that do, and appearances suggest that they are contributing members of society, provide for their families, are intelligent, and don’t let marijuana use negatively effect their daily interactions.  They are “responsible stoners.”

If everyone fell into this category, I would most likely 100% support the recreational use of pot.  But alas, not everyone is responsible.  Enter the “d-bag stoner (dbs).”

I had the privilege of interacting with a “dbs” last night.  Here is how it played out:

I had a relatively uneventful day at work. A normal amount of relatively normal patients needing MRIs. At about 3:30pm I get a request to add on a patient at the end of the day.  A 20 minute exam, the patient is supposed to be there at 4:45pm. Cool, I’ll still be out by shortly after 5:00pm. All is good.

4:45pm…no patient…
5:00pm…no patient…front desk staff calls the patient:

Front desk: “Hi there, Mr. So-and-So.  We had you coming in at 4:45pm.  Did you still plan on coming in this evening?”

Patient: “Yeah, I am 2 minutes away.”

5:15pm…no patient…front desk staff calls patient again, gets voicemail, leaves the following message:

“Hi again, Mr. So-and-So.  You told me you were 2 minutes away, but it has been 15 minutes, now.  Our office closed at 5:00pm, but, Chris, our extremely patient, talented, strong, intelligent, attractive, MRI tech agreed to wait around if you are still coming. (Note: She may have described me a little differently. She may not have described me at all. I am just telling you how I remember it.) 

5:20pm…no patient…another call is placed. Another message on voicemail:

“Hi again.  Unfortunately if you are not here within the next few minutes we will have to lock the door, and you will need to call on Monday and reschedule your appointment. ”

5:22pm…phone rings.

Patient: “Please. Please. Please. Wait for me. I’m right out front.  I am in the parking lot.”

Front desk staff: “Ok. We will be waiting.”

5:25pm…no patient…

5:30pm…no patient…

5:35pm…no patient…

5:37pm…a jeep comes screaming into the parking lot…out jumps, you guessed it, Mr. So-and-So.

Alright I go over a few quick questions, get a history from the patient, have him change, and get him on the table.

Patient: “Can you give me drugs to make me sleep?”

Me: “No I can’t.  Are you nervous?  claustrophobic?”

Patient: “No. No. I’m good.”

Me: “Okay. Let’s get started.”

Patient: “Is it okay if I’m on drugs?”

Me: “What are you on?”

Patient: “Marijuana.”

Me: “No, you are fine.”

Pause…

Me: “Wait. How long has it been since you smoked?”

Patient: “Just now.  Sorry, that’s why I was late.”

I will withhold the rest of the conversation. 

So I ended up getting home almost 2 hours later than I should have because of a “dbs.”
On the surface, I never thought of legalization really affecting me.  But dig a little deeper…and it’s already screwing things up. 

Smores and Beers.

Carly: “Chris, those big speakers in the basement, can we sell them?”

Ava (before I have a chance to answer): “No! Cuz we use them when it’s dark and people come over so we can have smores and some beers.”

In case I haven’t mentioned it, Ava is the coolest 4 year old ever.

Here’s to more smores and beers in 2013!

Nike

I know.  I know.  I already posted once today, and posting too often is a big blogging no-no, but I was just reminded of a funny “Ava quip” and I wanted to pass it on before I forgot it because I haven’t posted any funny Ava stuff for awhile. I think that last sentence was a run-on, or at least there are some punctuation errors.  Moving on.

Ava: “Tonight I am going to wear a Nike to bed.”

Me: “A what?”

Ava: “A Nike.”

Me: “What?!”

Ava: “A NIKE!!!”

Ava: “You are going to wear one shoe to bed?”

Ava: “Nooooo!”

Me: “Ava, Nikes are shoes.”

Ava: “No they are not. A Nike is a long shirt.”

Me: “Ava, do you mean a nightie?”

Ava: “No. It’s a Nike.

(Long pause)

Ava: “Booyah! I got a Nike!

The Power of Music

Maybe it’s that I am easily amused, easily amazed, easily awe-stricken… whatever you want to call it.  Maybe it’s that I enjoy simple things or maybe music isn’t a simple thing at a all.   Whatever it is, music has always amazed me.

My mom can verify this,  and perhaps I am dating myself by sharing, but I remember as a very young kid sitting in front of the TV singing along to “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper. Maybe I have this strong connection to music because MTV was “born” the same year as me (actually just a little over a month before me).

I’ve tried my hand at several instruments. In fifth-grade I tried the trumpet and trombone; I gave both up within weeks of starting them.  In seventh-grade I joined the school choir; I was asked to lip sing just moments before our first performance.  As a young adult I bought my first guitar; I still have it along with two others, but only know a few simple chords. I have a drum set and a didgeridoo; they make great decorations in my house.  I did at some point learn to play “Three Blind Mice” on my recorder, and can effectively make noise with a kazoo and a harmonica.  That being said, my lack of skill as a musician has never deterred me from singing (off key) in the shower or in my truck with the windows rolled up when I am by myself.

There is just something amazing to me about how voice, melody, and rhythm can come together to make you move, think, cry, smile, and remember (among other things).  I appreciate music across all genres;  Check my playlist and you will find everything from George Strait to Jay-Z and everything inbetween.  I go through phases where I might play one genre more than others,  and there have been days where I have just played a single song on repeat over and over.  Regardless of the song, music always adds something to any situation or event.  Ask any snowboarder and they will tell you a day on the mountain just isn’t the same when you forget to bring your headphones. Try imagining an NBA game without the organ playing at key points, an MLB game with no “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the seventh inning stretch, or your favorite movie without the musical score.

The point I am trying to make is music is an important part of my life, and so why not make it a part of my blog?

I have been given the opportunity for an exclusive interview with up and coming hip-hop artist and Y100 (Miami) DJ- Logic MC. This interview, to me, will be a great way to begin introducing music to my website.   The interview will be posted on http://www.clamrammer.com in the near future along with links to Logic MC music (including his new music video Lupe Fiasco “Around My Way” Logic MC remix).

Stay tuned!

Winter Park 12.29.2012

Day one is in the books ya’ll.  Any day on the mountain has got to be a good one,  but today at Winter Park was even better than expected because:

1) I didn’t have to drive,
2) the snow was better than I anticipated,
3) the crowds were minimal for a Saturday, and
4) people said funny sh*t.

My favorite quotes from today:

#3 Did you see that girl about to smoke a pole?
#2 You should take F*ckaroo. It’s a good one. (It’s supposed to be Buckaroo, not F*ckaroo, Tex).
#1 I’m gonna post a twitter on Facebook.

While the day was great, I was also reminded of the downside of spending the day strapped to a board; I am sore as buck. (It’s supposed to be f*ck, not buck, Tex).

Go time! Winter Park Style.

It’s finally here! Today will be my first day boarding in Colorado in nearly ten months. In less than two hours my Ride DH 2 will be hitting the powdery slopes of Winter Park. 

I don’t make it a point to visit Winter Park often, but its 90+ inches of snow accumulations and 15 inches of recent snow makes it the most desirable location today.
This trip is extra special because Mike Langston, another founding member of Team Clam Rammer, will be making the trip with me. The last time we were both on the same mountain Mike broke several ribs in a nasty spill. So let’s hope for a better outing.

I told myself in 2013 I was going to focus more on the things that make me happy.  No one said I couldn’t start a few days early.

Just around the corner

Christmas has come and gone. Gifts were given and received; I am excited to start posting from my new ipad 4, and my wife, I am sure, is excited to take the trip to Keystone Mountain Resort in January that I gave her as a gift. The kids are coming down from their Christmas sugar high.  I am not home yet, but will be boarding a plane back to Colorado in exactly 24 hours.  On Saturday I will be snowboarding.   Snowfall has been lighter than normal but will be adequate for now.

Although I was well taken care of when it comes to presents this year, I am reminded that there are more important things: spending time with family and friends, making memories, reconnecting with people you care about, and reflecting on life in general.

I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of the things we think are impossible, are possible with just a little more effort than what we are currently putting forth.   I realize that I have amazing opportunities right in front of me and my goal for the foreseeable future is to seize some of them in 2013.  I am going to find a way to do more of the things I like and less of the things I don’t like.  Will you do the same?

Dreambent Studios

Just taking this opportunity to plug the website of a friend and amazing artist.  Eddie Mijares is the creative talent behind Dreambent studios.  He has successfully transformed his background in graphic design into the tattoo industry.  Although based out of Denver, Colorado, Eddie frequently travels to do guest spots across the country in areas such as New York, California,  and Texas.   He is starting out 2013 with a private ink party on Florida’s gulf coast.  Please take a minute to visit his website http://www.dreambentstudios.com.  Eddie is also on facebook, twitter, and instagram.  Visit. Like. Follow.  Dreambent Studios.

Normal snowfall for the Colorado Rockies this year?

After a less than satisfying amount of snowfall last winter and an unusually dry summer in Colorado, there may be a return to normalcy this upcoming season.  The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) is calling for snow accumulations at least equal to Colorado’s average amounts, in what is described as a medium El-Nino year.

Colorado’s high-country has already seen double digit accumulations in some areas, and the Front-Range and Eastern Colorado plains have even received a light dusting following the dip in temperatures Colorado has seen over the last week.  But, don’t get overly excited; the temperatures in the Denver area are expected to return to the 70’s this week.

Most ski areas in Colorado average approximately 200″ of natural snow in a given year, but combined with man-made efforts, some areas hit the 400″ mark. 

Fun fact: Colorado holds the record for “Most Snowfall in a 24-Hour Period”, “Largest Snowfall in a Single Calendar Day”, and “Most Accumulation from a Single Snowstorm.”

The most snow to fall in any 24 hour period is 75.8 inches at Silver Lake, Colorado, 40 miles northwest of Denver. The snowstorm began at 2:30 pm on the afternoon of April 14, 1921.  By 6 pm on April 15, 1921 a record 87 inches had landed.  The blizzard continued for 32.5 hours, lleaving 95 inches of fresh snow on the ground. This set yet another record for the deepest accumulation from one continuous snowfall.

The largest snowfall for a single calendar day fell in Georgetown, Colorado where 63 inches landed on December 4, 1913.